It is that time of the year again! I am a very resolute person, I am always making resolutions. For proof of claims, check our Whiny’s resolution on her previous birthday. Whatever the milestone, I am always jotting down resolutions, often the same one again and again. I am sure, one-day they will see the day of light. So, this year, the big 2018, I am resolute to make the Gym Story I started in 2017 in earnest, to become a pivotal part of my life. Here’s how:
Gym Story 1.0
It is not the first time this year, though! I have tried ‘gymming’ on and off, throughout my Twenties. (I still like to talk about my twenties a lot, as if they might magically return if I dwell on them.)
But since last year, I started chronicling my “Weight Change Journey.” I cannot call it weight loss, that could be deemed scientifically incorrect! Because of all that helpful journaling, it has been proven beyond redemption that 2017 has been a no-impact year – kind of like how the Government feels right now. So, moving on. I am upgrading my plan. Acche Din is 2018, I feel it in my slightly paunchy gut. These are the constructive steps that are going to totally up my Gym game in the year to come!
Create Gym Story WhatsApp group
I have enthusiastically spearheaded the formation of a life-changing, Whatsapp group, for weight watchers. An interesting name that, because I have been watching my weight thrive since the creation of the group. There must have been a glitch in the recruitment process for that group. Because, ironically, we don’t discuss our gym victories. We discuss recipes, eating, baking, food pilgrimages, exotic gourmet in that group, accompanied with tempting pictures, that would test the resolve of the hermit. Sometimes, we change up the subject, of course, and discuss restaurants, instead. Can’t be expecting that we cook all the time? The group surely has lifted a lot of weight off my soul. I feel light as a feather. Having friends who are failing as hard is such a balm for the soul.
Install estrogen-charged fitness apps
This hunt has been perpetual. Since the discovery of the magical smart-phone, I have been sniffing out one app after other, that will make me look like Adonis started working out again! The year 2017 saw me discover an app that is absolutely brilliant – because it can differentiate between fish curry and alu bhaji. This concept has taken the Western world a hundred years to fathom. In another hundred, they may just get over the smell of the garlic, to begin to understand. You can imagine, I was ecstatic. I knew this was what would finally carry me over my looming weight goal, and drop me gorgeously on the other side.
The efficacy of the app is inconclusive till date. My husband summarized: so, when you are not eating, you are thinking about what you eat. You are writing about what you eat. That is bound to make you want to eat. I have written in detail about my experiences with these apps, please read this post here.
The Gym Story: Finally!
I love the Gym. I love how you can stuff yourself with a doughnut because you stepped into the hallowed portals of the slightly sweaty room. Doesn’t matter if your time was spent in watching the different kinds of gym nuts – going there is the first step to a gorgeous body. I have concentrated this year on mastering that first step – enter the gym and watch others for inspiration. Here’s who I found there:
The Serious Sweaters
These people are armed. They treat gym like a war zone. From branded gym bags, color-coordinated gym shoes, gym attire, to swanky Bluetooth headphones, they possess it all. I never asked, but I am certain they chew some branded gum as well.
They come with a mission, while the likes of me shed a nervous sweat around them.
As long as sweating = weight loss, Whiny loves having them around. How does it matter whose sweat is actually spent?
They probably told their spouse at home that they are going to buy bread, and ended up in the gym. They carry stuff, like a grocery bag, umbrella, and newspaper. Their gym music playlist ranges from Hanuman Chalisa to Despacito.
When they are around, brace yourself for free life advice. I was once reminded by one of the tribe that there were only three important things in life: education, faith, and health. The point in his long rant was that I was risking one of these pillars, by lifting much more than I look capable of. (I wasn’t I swear, my toddler weighs twice that!)
The YOLO gang
Need I say more! When I see the girls and boys this age, I try to remember what I was doing at that age. Probably hiding a storybook and a torch under my blanket to avoid my mom’s wrath. These bunch of cool kids looks like they have only one mission in life. To click the perfect gym selfie. They have lanky bodies, and they pick up weights, and take turns, doing reps. While one does the rep, the other photographs it. Then they compare pictures. It’s all an infinite time loop, really. Very intriguing…
In 2018, I am going to be one of them. I would be so at home in the environment of the Gym that I might just start a little house-warming party there to settle in! We can have a few pies, sip a little wine, and celebrate our Gym success with our Gym buddies. I can’t stop visualizing. What are your gym goals next year?
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